people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
