Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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