Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
