Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
