Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
