Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
