I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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