mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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