So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
