btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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