either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
