Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
