Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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