You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
