how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
