Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
