Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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