Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
