All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
