just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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