This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
