dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
