She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
