Can i not drive my cunt home
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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