Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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