i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
