Sry I called you an 8
I'm eating all of the evidence.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
