Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
