She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
