Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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