i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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