Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I need to sanitize my soul.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
