i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
