The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
