You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
