im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i came on her dog
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
