Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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