Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
