This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
