i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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