she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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