So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
