dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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