He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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