I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
