So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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