I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
