I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Welp...herpes.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
