i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
