The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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