You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
