need another drink. this is the easiest way
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
