well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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